She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize