I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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