Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
