dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
