Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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