saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
no. you can't hotbox the world.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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