So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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