I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
