You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
