i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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