i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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