My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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