im calling her cock vulture from now on
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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