There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I just want nice things and good sex
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
