maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
