What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
