Duck Duck Cougar?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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