I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
