so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize