she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
