so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
