also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
