Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
