Whod you bang
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You're breaking my sexual little heart
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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