Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
My vagina is officially offended.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
