no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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