what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
