Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
