At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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