I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
