For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
