Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
