I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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