He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
