so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
