Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
