one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
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