The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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