Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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