Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
This baby is an asshole
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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