I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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