So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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