i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I don't want my vagina anymore.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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