Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Betty ford says i'm here all night
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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