I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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