I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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