help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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