He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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