what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
