Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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