is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
