they need to just BURY HIM!
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Randomize
