I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize