I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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