i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
