Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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