Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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