3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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