You made me cry and you don't even care
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Randomize
