Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
