You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
