i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
