I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
