My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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