I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
