Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
So much Jack, so little girl.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize