You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Less talking, more tequila
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
