I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize