haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
