fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You made out with two different species that night
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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