I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize